I had an AHA! moment today.

I should only listen to Gamma Meditation System 2.0 for 30-minutes at a time, once a day. And I should alternate between the two 30-minute segments.

I came to this conclusion this afternoon when I settled down for a session. Instead of starting the CD at the beginning, I picked up where I left off last night. (I tried to do some meditating before going to sleep, but the sandman quickly snatched me into dreamland.)

This continuation happened to be within the first minute of the second 30-minute session. And since I hadn’t really given a lot of time to the second session, it felt like I was listening to something new. I got the same strong vibrational buzz that I did when I first launched this experiment.

So I’m thinking that alternating between the two tracks is probably a good thing – at least for now.

During my session today I felt less movement in my solar plexus, and more flowing energy in my heart chakra. Though I felt a lot of energy in general.

I had a hard time settling my chatty mind during the meditation. And when I finally did, I ended up falling asleep for a few minutes.

Not surprisingly, around three minutes before the CD ended, I woke up. I say ‘not surprisingly’ because if you read through my previous posts you’ll notice that I frequently wake up within 3-5 minutes before the CD ends.

There’s nothing that physically sounds different about that time frame. But I’m sure there’s something happening. It’s like the surprise secret sauce of the CD. Maybe the sound waves change from Gamma to Beta. (Beta is the awake/alert brain state.)

Over the previous few days I’ve been having this rapid onset of extreme empathetic-ness. It was like instantly feeling the joy, the sadness, and the pain of everything I was experiencing, watching and doing. I found myself constantly questioning my own actions, and even changing some of the normal responses I gave.

Yesterday (which I previously forgot to mention), I was sitting at my kitchen table. And the craziest thought came into my mind. It was related to Dragon Tales.

(FYI… If you have kids, and they watch PBS on television (in the States), then you probably know about the show Dragon Tales. Whenever the dragons perform a selfless action, their dragon badge lights up. This means they’ve passed some kind of test.)

Anyway I was sitting there watching the Home Shopping Network, when I suddenly thought of Cassie (one of the dragons) having a badge moment. And I thought, that’s what I feel like I’m going through right now. Why?

Because honestly, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be feeling. I mean the CD descriptions mention things like “expansion of consciousness.” But what is expansion of consciousness exactly? Surely it’s different for each person. And you never quite know when this expansion of consciousness is supposed to take place.

I’m guessing that part of my expansion is the growth of my empathy muscle.

Which is so NOT what I expected.

And that’s perfectly okay. I’m overjoyed that it’s not what I expected. And I look – with child-like anticipation – at what is yet to come.

I haven’t mentioned my dreams lately, have I? There’s a good reason for that.

Those vivid, colorful dreams that I had the first 2-3 days have surprisingly become a distant memory. And actually, I’m kind of sad about that.

Prior to Gamma Meditation System I’d never dreamt in such a sophisticated level of color before. It was quite an awakening. And now it’s back to drab dream business as usual.

I have to work on some lucid dreaming exercises. But not now. Right now I’m still trying to adapt to Gamma.

Yesterday I spoke about a new awakening of my empathetic centers and sense of compassion. I was never lacking in those areas, per se. But within the past couple of days I feel like my heart has been opened 1,000 times more.

It’s like in the midst of my normal (sometimes selfish) behavior, I’m pausing a lot more to consider the overall affect of my words and actions. The simple act of pausing has helped me to offer a much calmer response in certain situations.

And other times, even when I didn’t offer a calm response, I immediately saw the error of my ways. And I felt more pain associated with those moments than usual.

Certain times you tell yourself that you’re going to change your life. And that gung-ho, “I-can-do-it” attitude lasts a day before you return to your normal state.

Well I feel like my life is spontaneously changing on its own. Like I said yesterday, it’s very subtle. I haven’t become Mother Teresa overnight! But it’s a process that I feel like I’m flowing with, rather than actively trying to control.

I am both emotional and completely in control, at the same time. It may sound confusing. And if it does, it’s only because I’m still trying to synthesize this whole experience. It’s all very new to me.

Today my daughter and I did 10 minutes of Gamma Meditation System 2.0 together. We each had a set of headphones on, and she fell asleep within the first 3 minutes!

During the meditation I had a swirling feeling that varied around my crown chakra and my third-eye. I physically felt like I was moving with the swirl. It was rather intense. My solar plexus was still a little queasy during that brief session. But not much. When I got up, I felt a bit lightheaded.

Tomorrow I’m really going to try to meditate for an entire hour. It’s just more difficult right now because my daughter has been sick. And in the world of a sick 5-year old, there’s no one-hour meditation break! You get it where you can fit it.

As I predicted, my daughter was still sick this morning. So I stayed in the bed and put on Gamma Meditation System.

There were no vibrations this morning. No feelings of an expansive aura. And no flashes of colorful scenes.

The main emotion I felt was confidence. It was a really BIG dose of confidence. I felt absolutely comfortable in my skin. Like I could take on anything. And then maybe 10 minutes into the CD, I dozed off.

My bright, colorful dreams that I had the first two days seem to be lessening in intensity. In fact, I don’t recall the dreams I had this morning at all.

And I don’t think I’ll try to remember any of them – at least during this first week. I’m still trying to adapt to what’s happening and feel these new feelings while meditating. Besides, this is a year-long experiment, so I’ve got plenty of time to work on improving my lucid dreaming abilities.

LATER THAT DAY…

A couple of days ago I ordered the Gamma Meditation System 2.0 CD from Amazon. It arrived this evening.

What makes Gamma Meditation System 2.0 different from Gamma Meditation System?

According to the Amazon.com description, Gamma Meditation System 2.0 gives off HyperGamma waves. HyperGamma waves are traditionally achieved by Buddhist monks who have been meditating for 10+ years. They move you easily into a state of deep meditation, enhanced focus, awakened insight and inspiration. HyperGamma waves are very similar to Gamma waves, except they have faster brainwave activity.

Because I knew that I didn’t have to get up early to take my daughter to school. I tried Gamma Meditation System 2.0 before going to sleep.

I could immediately tell the sound difference between Gamma and HyperGamma. HyperGamma sounded like it had a faster beat. Even so, I was able to relax into it within the first 5-10 minutes.

Oddly enough though, I was able to recall some of the flashes that I’d forgotten about during this mornings meditation. It wasn’t that I was conciously thinking about this morning’s session. It just all came flooding back to me in a fast sequence of thoughts.

Remember I said how I was previously meditating on the connectedness of all things? One flash that I now remember having this morning was that everything – down to a grain of rice – matters. One flash showed nothing but a single grain of rice. And I knew instintively that the grain of rice mattered in the big scheme of things. I don’t know why. But I did remember that.

Because this was my first time in HyperGamma, I suspended all focus. I just passively observed what happened. And I noticed when I didn’t focus on anything I felt the same vibrational state that I did a couple of days ago. (Remember, this morning there was no vibrational state.)

At one point I dozed off for a few minutes. When I woke up, it was to that expansive wave aura that I’d felt the first couple of days. It was quite warm and inviting.

However to experiment, I imagined pulling my aura energy really close to my body. And it was a completely different feeling. It was a tighter buzz around my body. It felt more dense. So I allowed my aura to expand again.

I felt it going into the hallway of my building, and into my neighbors apartment. And I stopped it because I felt their energy. And I felt that I was invading their space with my energy.

Midway during this session I felt a lot of energy in my stomach. So much that it made my stomach a little queasy. Even now, my stomach is still a bit crampy.

I have a feeling it’s because I have a harder time focusing on my lower chakras. I tend to feel a lot of movement in my heart chakra, the third eye region (the intuitive spot in the center of your forehead), and the crown chakra (at the top of my head). But rarely anything below the heart. So I was surprised to feel anything stirring down there.

Towards the end I dozed off again. But a whooshing sound in the second 30-minute segment woke me up. Actually it startled me and I woke up with a jolt.

I don’t know why I was prompted to do this, but immediately after that jolt I put my hands close together (without touching) and felt an obvious throbbing heat. I worked with the energy by moving my hands to and fro for a minute. Then I got up and turned the lights on.

Right now (15 minutes later) I’m still feeling a bit lightheaded. And I have a slight headache. Now I’m wondering if that headache I felt during the first two days of Gamma was because of the CD.

Either way, I think I’m speed freak because I’m digging HyperGamma a lot!

Now that my daughter is on Christmas break for two weeks, I’ll have more time to meditate during waking hours, instead of doing it right before bed.

This morning my daughter still has a fever. So no school again. And I am once again suffering with a headache. But this time I decided not to take any medicine right away.

After having a bite to eat, I go Gamma Meditation System again. Perhaps the sound will help ease the headache.

My goal for this morning is to focus my thoughts for the entire hour – even through the second 30-minute segment, which I wasn’t too crazy about yesterday.

If you’re not into meditation, devoting an hour to a focused thought might seem hard. But when you’re listening to this CD time seems to fly by. There’s so much happening mentally and to my energetic body. When it’s over I want to start it up again. It’s like being high (yes… I did ‘inhale’ in my younger days), without drugs.

As I begin my morning session, I decide that my focus is going to be on the connectedness of everything.

Almost as soon as the CD starts, I settle into a comfortable vibration. By vibration I mean it feels like my aura is vibrating, not necessarily my physical body. Nonetheless, it can still be physically felt.

I feel an expansion of my aura. In the previous 2 days that expansion took the form of a wave. Kind of like a choppy wave at the beach. But this time it’s a solid expansion. I feel like there’s a circle of energy around me, and that circle is growing and growing. And it vibrates as it grows. I am only barely aware of my physical body.

In my mind’s eye I see the room that I’m in. The room is vibrating, and I notice the space in between the solidness.

The room clearly looks like a room. But it has the feeling that it’s all ripped up into little pieces. And I can see the space surrounding those little pieces. I’m thinking that if this is the true nature of matter, then why don’t I just fall through the floor. And at that moment I see everything as completely solid matter again. No vibrations.

During this time I fade in and out of clarity. I don’t feel as though I’m falling asleep, but I probably am. When I come to, it’s always to some bright, colorful flash of a thought.

These flashes are random, and appear to have no meaning to anything going on in my life. But they keep coming.

I have to make a mental note to begin remembering these scenes.

LATER THAT NIGHT…

At bed time I put on my headset and turn on the CD.

I decided that I was going to focus on the connectedness of all things. And as I previously mentioned, I would try to remember the flashes that I was seeing during the meditation.

However after tending to my sick daughter all day, I wasn’t able to recall the flashes.

I ended up falling asleep and waking up approximately 4 minutes before the end of the first 30-minute segment. I don’t know what’s happening on the CD around that time frame.

But I find that if I’ve dozed off, I always seem to wake up around those final 4 minutes. And if I’m awake, I always feel something happening in my heart chakra. Like a surge of electricity is going through it. My physical heart even beats faster.

My dreams were a little less vivid in color and brightness tonight. But I was able to remember one of them.

In the dream I was talking to two parents at my daughters school. We were saying goodbye before the Christmas break. And we kissed each other on the cheek – which is what we always do anyway.

I suppose it was my way of saying goodbye to them, since I knew my daughter probably wouldn’t be well enough to go to school.

FYI, I had to take an Advil to ease my headache.

This morning I got up and my thoughts went to my dreams from Day 1.

I remember how clear they were. How colorful and powerful they seemed – even in my mind. The colors in my dreams made me think of how colorless my waking visualizations had been. My dream was a surreal explosion of bright color that I’d never witnessed before.

I planned on taking my daughter to school, coming back home, and meditating to the entire Gamma Meditation System CD. If less than 30-minutes yielded that color burst, what would a full hour do?

But as fate would have it, my daughter was ill. So she ate a little bit and we both climbed back into bed. She watched television. And my curiosity made me put the Gamma Meditation System CD back on.

Again, I was lying in the bed, not in a typical meditation position.

This time I was rather sleepy, and I dozed off within minutes. Periodically, however, I would wake up to some dream-like scene going on in my head.

I remember waking up one of those times and involuntarily visualizing a giant red heart. True to my vivid color bursts, this heart was like the reddest red I’d ever seen. It was three-dimensional. It was both extremely clear and fuzzy at the same time. And it was BRIGHT. Incredibly bright.

I felt my heart beating really quickly. And my body was pulsating. Again I felt the aura wave happening… like my energy was spilling out everywhere. It was so intense that I couldn’t go back to sleep. I just lied there and let it all happen.

Within a few minutes, the second 30-minute segment began.

And for some reason the second part made my energy feel incredibly close to me. I didn’t particularly like being ‘pulled in.’ It was like a cooling down that I wasn’t ready for.

I listened to it for a few minutes and then dozed off.

When I woke up two hours later I felt very tingly in my crown chakra (the top of my head). It gave me a slightly spacey feeling, and I considered doing a grounding meditation, but I didn’t.

Even though I had fallen asleep, I felt like something very magical was happening to me. And I wanted to hold on to that feeling.

During the day I began having a headache on the right side of my head. I get headaches maybe once every couple of months.  So I took two Advil’s, and I was okay.

LATER THAT NIGHT…

Egads. I am hooked!

All day I’ve been floating in and out of this spacey feeling. I never felt like I was not in control of myself and all my faculties. It was almost like a vibrational goodness. I was actually kind of happy we were in the house all day.

I decided to listen to the CD again tonight. I lied down and got under the covers as usual.

But this time I decided to focus my thoughts. I focused on connecting with everything and everyone. I imagined how my energy was melding with my daughters. In my mind I watched my energy ‘wave’ all over the place.

During certain points I could feel my heart chakra going crazy. Like a fountain of love was bubbling over. It was very intense. Not really emotional – just intense. And I observed it all without moving.

Once the 30-minute segment ended, I shut off the CD and went to sleep.

My dreams were equally intense as they were the first night. So colorful and bright. And this time I remembered some of the dream.

In the dream I was in my apartment. And everything electrical in the house kept flickering on and off. It was both annoying and scary because I didn’t know what to do. I was walking down the hallway when I saw a wavy piece of energy in front of me. Wavy like the heat waves in the desert. Within that moment of fear, I woke up. And I was quite happy to see that I was in my bed!

I looked around the room, closed my eyes and went back to sleep. I’m sure I dreamt again. But I don’t remember any of it.