Between Christmas, and finally being able to get out of the house after caring for my sick daughter, I’d taken off some time from meditating.

And I truly felt different. Different like, not centered. I didn’t feel that same sense of empathy I’d described in previous posts. And even before I noticed that slow down of empathy, I did feel like I needed to meditate. I wanted to meditate.

I was able to slip in 30-minutes tonight. I listened to the first segment of Gamma Meditation System 2.0. I wasn’t sleepy when I got started. But I still decided to lie down on the bed instead of sitting up.

First off, I had the most difficult time quieting my chatty mind. I kept having these awful visualizations of robbers coming into my apartment. Or someone trying to snatch my daughter.

Whenever these visualizations occurred, I thought of how overwhelmingly fearful the ego can be. It’s like the ego has a perpetual script for disaster. And even though the thoughts the ego delivers can all seem very real… very premonition-like… they’re not.

Eventually those fearful visualizations were replaced when I began to focus on my breathing. Even still, my mind never really quieted down.

I did have an insightful flash regarding a business problem I’d been thinking about. And other than that I kept having random, dream-like sequences running through my mind. Nothing that really made sense to me.

Speaking of my dreams, they’ve basically lost that colorful, vibrant visual quality they had when I first started this experiment. Which is kind of disappointing. I thought that phase would last longer than it did.

All in all, however, I DO see the beauty of gamma meditating every day. Aside from the dreams and the vivid flashes I initially had, there’s a certain life quality change that’s subtly taking place.

As I explained in previous posts with the increase of empathy, it’s not overwhelming. But I’m 100% sure that I feel a shift taking place. What that shift is is undefinable right now.

Oh, one more thing. I visited my grandmother in the nursing home on Christmas day. She has dementia (a brain disorder, kind of like Alzheimers) so she doesn’t speak. She appears to be in another world.

While sitting and talking to her, I expressed to her that I needed her to come back. To communicate with me. (You have to understand that my grandma is like heaven on earth to me. But I’ve been having a horrible time adjusting to her mental state.)

During the course of my two-hour visit, she spoke in a near legible sentence. And when I asked if she remembered when we used to watch the Merv Griffin Show together, she replied “Yeah.” Then she looked me directly in the eyes.

My aunt, who visits my grandma several times a week, told me that’s the most conversation my grandma has given anyone in years.

It just so happened that while I was there I concentrated on connecting my heart chakra to hers. I just kept pouring love into her. I kept imagining her heart growing stronger. And it did. I’m convinced of that.

Did that have anything to do with gamma meditation? I can’t say for certain. I do know that I felt a deeper connection to her. Like I understood that she was still in there. It was almost like we communicated on the soul level.

‘Subtle’ yet obvious. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

Filed under: Gamma Meditation Experiences

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