I didn’t meditate today. And for very good reason.

I decided to take a late nap around 6pm this evening. And as soon as I got in the bed and closed my eyes, I went into gamma mode.

Not that I was thinking about it or even planning to meditate before going to sleep. It happened rather involuntarily.

My body began the energy vibration, and I felt myself slip into the same mental state that occurs when I’m listening to Gamma Meditation System 2.0.

Even though I was asleep, it wasn’t a deep sleep. And each time I came into semi-consciousness I could tell that I was still in gamma mode. I was actually quite amazed by it all. I guess because it was so unexpected.

Other than that, there were no other unique feelings or experiences today.

Do you believe in spirit guides?

I do.

While meditating tonight I began thinking about a spirit guide that I have. No particular reason why. He just passed through my mind.

And while I was thinking about him, another man popped into my mind. And as soon as I saw him, I felt like I was looking at a long, lost friend. I felt like, “Heyyyyy… I KNOW you. Where have you been?”

Granted I don’t consciously know who this guy is. But there was an incredible WOW connection when I saw him. Almost like a puzzle piece had popped into place. Like I remembered him from a specific incident. Perhaps he’s another spirit guide.

Other than that, I still had a rather difficult time fully focusing tonight. I only managed to get through 14 minutes, instead of my usual 30.

At one point I heard a noise that reminded me of a fire alarm. I took the headphones off and realized that it was on the CD. Funny… as much as I listen to this CD, I’d never heard that sound before.

I also noticed that when I took the headphones off to listen for the fire alarm-like sound, my body felt like it was buzzing. Although it seemed to slow down when I took the headphones off. And when I put them back on, I could feel the buzzing again.

I also found this to be quite interesting. In the beginning of this gamma meditation experiment I experienced a strong vibrational energy around my body. And then after a few days it seemed to diminish.

Now I wondering if the energy buzz ever left, or maybe I just got so used to it that I didn’t feel it. I don’t know.

ONE THING I AM NOTICING…

Is that I feel more earth conscious lately. I’ve been in serious recycling mode. I’m turning off the lights as soon as I leave out of the room. I’ve been cutting the paper towels into smaller pieces (for goodness sake). I carry a shopping bag with me now, so I don’t need the extra plastic and paper. I feel both the goodness and the indifference of nature around me.

It’s kind of like my empathetic phase last week, only now it’s strongly directed towards Mother Earth.

I would like to say that I go through moments like this all the time. But I don’t.

I have entered the Gamma Zone – and I like it.

Today’s meditation took on a rather unique quality. Unique in that my sense of ‘vision’ returned again.

Not the regular two-eyed vision. It’s like I have my eyes open and I’m looking at a brightly colored scene playing out in front of me. Only I don’t have my eyes open.

I suppose the best description is that it’s a highly realistic visualization. But when it’s happening, it feels like I’m really looking at something with my physical eyes. It almost feels strange to know that my eyes are really closed. And the scenes only last for a few seconds at most.

I initially experienced this sense of ‘vision’ within the first couple of days of starting the Gamma Meditation System – but it quickly faded away. So I was quite surprised to see it happening again. I kept concentrating on lengthening the scenes, but they remained relatively short.

During the past two days I’ve been having more insights into business issues that I’m working on. And these insights are taking place during the meditation. One in particular today was extremely helpful. I was quite impressed by it. (Thanking the Universe graciously.)

While meditating I’m still fading between conscious thought and a sort of sleeping phase. Okay, I’m not falling asleep completely. But there are times when I feel extremely relaxed. And then all of sudden I feel myself come back to total alertness.

At this point I’m pretty sure it’s a byproduct of the sounds on the CD (Gamma Meditation System 2.0). Because it occurs effortlessly. Even if I’m fully awake, I still fade between the totally relaxed/totally alert states.

Now that I’m getting into a comfortable groove, I’m going to begin a specific focus on something while meditating. I’m not sure what. But I’m curious to see what other types of visible mental shifts I can produce.

Between Christmas, and finally being able to get out of the house after caring for my sick daughter, I’d taken off some time from meditating.

And I truly felt different. Different like, not centered. I didn’t feel that same sense of empathy I’d described in previous posts. And even before I noticed that slow down of empathy, I did feel like I needed to meditate. I wanted to meditate.

I was able to slip in 30-minutes tonight. I listened to the first segment of Gamma Meditation System 2.0. I wasn’t sleepy when I got started. But I still decided to lie down on the bed instead of sitting up.

First off, I had the most difficult time quieting my chatty mind. I kept having these awful visualizations of robbers coming into my apartment. Or someone trying to snatch my daughter.

Whenever these visualizations occurred, I thought of how overwhelmingly fearful the ego can be. It’s like the ego has a perpetual script for disaster. And even though the thoughts the ego delivers can all seem very real… very premonition-like… they’re not.

Eventually those fearful visualizations were replaced when I began to focus on my breathing. Even still, my mind never really quieted down.

I did have an insightful flash regarding a business problem I’d been thinking about. And other than that I kept having random, dream-like sequences running through my mind. Nothing that really made sense to me.

Speaking of my dreams, they’ve basically lost that colorful, vibrant visual quality they had when I first started this experiment. Which is kind of disappointing. I thought that phase would last longer than it did.

All in all, however, I DO see the beauty of gamma meditating every day. Aside from the dreams and the vivid flashes I initially had, there’s a certain life quality change that’s subtly taking place.

As I explained in previous posts with the increase of empathy, it’s not overwhelming. But I’m 100% sure that I feel a shift taking place. What that shift is is undefinable right now.

Oh, one more thing. I visited my grandmother in the nursing home on Christmas day. She has dementia (a brain disorder, kind of like Alzheimers) so she doesn’t speak. She appears to be in another world.

While sitting and talking to her, I expressed to her that I needed her to come back. To communicate with me. (You have to understand that my grandma is like heaven on earth to me. But I’ve been having a horrible time adjusting to her mental state.)

During the course of my two-hour visit, she spoke in a near legible sentence. And when I asked if she remembered when we used to watch the Merv Griffin Show together, she replied “Yeah.” Then she looked me directly in the eyes.

My aunt, who visits my grandma several times a week, told me that’s the most conversation my grandma has given anyone in years.

It just so happened that while I was there I concentrated on connecting my heart chakra to hers. I just kept pouring love into her. I kept imagining her heart growing stronger. And it did. I’m convinced of that.

Did that have anything to do with gamma meditation? I can’t say for certain. I do know that I felt a deeper connection to her. Like I understood that she was still in there. It was almost like we communicated on the soul level.

‘Subtle’ yet obvious. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

Today I am meditating solely on the pleasures of having a loving, wonderful family… customers who put their trust into my skills… and the creativity to support myself without a job.

No matter where you are, and who you’re with, I wish you a day filled with happiness.

Alexis