I honestly didn’t know what to expect when I popped the Gamma Meditation System CD into my player and donned my headset.

From what I’ve read – (mainly through the description at the Amazon.com website) – Gamma waves are supposed to move you into deeper states of meditation and heighten your sense of self-awareness.

Since I’d just begun meditating again, I was hoping to see a positive change in my meditation experience. However I’ve never been deeply into meditation. So I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be feeling.

And that feeling of unexpectedness made me that much more excited about listening to the CD.

I decided to listen to it before going to bed, which was around 10:30pm. I didn’t get into a cross-legged position. I decided to listen to it lying down, under the covers.

The first 5 minutes or so I basically settled into it. It has an almost spacey, whooshy, synthesizer type sound. Not quite what I was expecting.

Maybe 10 minutes in to it I begin to feel my body pulse and vibrate. I was in a very relaxed state by now, and I didn’t want to move in fear of losing the calming vibration.

It was almost like my aura was expanding. In my mind I kept imagining my aura spilling all over the place like a gigantic wave. My daughter was sleeping in the bed with me, and her foot touched my leg as my energy was ‘waving.’ Surprisingly my physical body felt tingly to the touch. Almost like my leg had fallen asleep, but without the pins and needles feeling.

And still, I didn’t want to move. I felt like my mind was awake and my body was asleep.

The first part of the CD lasts 30-minutes. During that time I faded in and out of twilight sleep and being fully awake.

The last time I was awakened was shortly before the first part ended. I remember my eyes were closed, and the blanket was over my head. And I saw the most vivid picture of my cell phone, which was on the nightstand right beside my bed.

When I say ‘vivid’ I seriously thought I was looking at it with my eyes open and the lights on. It was so bright and clear and in focus. That’s when I popped my eyes open to realize I was still under the covers.

I didn’t understand what had happened. But I was almost a little shocked. So I turned it off before it was finished and went right to sleep.

That night my dreams were almost as vivid as the cell phone visualization I’d had. I can’t remember what I dreamed about. But I do remember that it clear and vivid and quite colorful. It was like watching a movie on the highest definition television you can imagine.

For my first night out, I think it was quite an interesting experience.

Since I’ve had a headache a good part of the evening, I decided to try Gamma Meditation System 2.0 before going to bed. (This time I did the first 30-minute segment.)

I relaxed very quickly and quieted my chatty mind. Actually the chatty mind thing was a priority, as I’ve been allowing it to overwhelm me over the past couple of days. So I was determined not to make it a focus this time. And it worked.

I found myself riding in-between the “partially asleep/fully awake” mode. But let me clarify… I wasn’t asleep. It’s a feeling like being asleep. I’m just extremely relaxed. My mind feels a little hazy in this mode. But I’m still aware that I’m not fully asleep. (Confused yet? )

And what made it really odd was that twice during the meditation I started talking gibberish.

The first time I did it, I shocked myself. I thought, “What the heck just happened???” Then towards that final 5 minutes, I did it again.

I don’t know what I meant to say, as I wasn’t thinking about anything in particular. There was no sense of discomfort or fright. And it only lasted a couple of seconds. But both times I felt completely caught off guard.

I’m finding that the more I listen to the CD, the more my life takes these very unique twists and turns. This is all so NOT what I was expecting when I first started this journey. And that’s the most interesting part. These moments are fleeting, but they always catch my attention in ways that I least expect it.

I question what does it all mean? How do all of these little pieces fit together to form the larger picture? I’m still not sure yet. Not even close.